Correlation of Thoughts

Lately I find myself wanting and dreaming of a million things that I don't have.
I constantly stop and remind myself of all of the little treasures in my life, of all the love that I have to be thankful for.

But it seems that I can't stay in one state of mind.
My inclination is to drown myself with the sadness and longing for things not in my possession. For lost love and for feelings of being alone.
(What is loneliness? I feel it is everywhere, it's a virus within all of us. Some of us just choose to feel it more than others, I suppose.)

There is one thing I find myself longing for most of anything, a companion to take on the world with me. To inspire me as I inspire them, to make memories to cherish. To destroy and create, to hurt, to love, to feel for. Someone to wake up to, someone to share all of my little secrets and thoughts with.
Someone who is looking to create a world outside of this one, because the world before us is not one that makes me happy.
In a way I feel that I need someone else to live for. There is no satisfaction within living for myself.
Someone to lean on, who can confide in me, to motivate and be motivated. Someone in which to create an escape.

Because of these ridiculous emotions, obsessions almost, I know that love is indeed factual. It is the beautifully tragic gain and loss of love that has left me feeling so entirely abandoned.

I find myself running away to my world of dreams, safe within the comforts of my little self-created dungeon. (My escape from all of civilization.)
I am fortunate for my sleep behavior, in which i can summon at almost any given time.
But this is a sad place to be living in. I don't wish to look for an escape, I want to be in the world, spreading love and compassion. I want to be a part of something bigger than myself, only… I keep stopping myself.